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Hor3en For Da`wah In English for those who invite to their Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching

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قديم 08-20-2009, 11:23 PM
نسيم الفجر نسيم الفجر غير متواجد حالياً
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افتراضي Chill Out Like The Prophet: Tips For The Stressed Muslim Da’ee – Part I

 



Chill Out Like The Prophet:
Tips For The Stressed Muslim Da’ee – Part I



Bismillah


Frazzled, short of time, in a hurry, with no time to talk – does that describe you? Whether you are a religious teacher, an administrator, khateeb, curriculum planner, halaqah leader, children’s program coordinator at the mosque, or a volunteer for any other da’wah-based good work that comes your way in the path of Allah; you might not realize that you are taking your work a tad bit too arduously, resulting in an impending but impairing burnout. When a person feels chronically tired, irritable and stressed, it is a sign that they need to slow down, be it corporate work, housework (for homemaking mothers/women in particular) or even sincere da’wah work.

Irritability, fatigue and lack of recreation is a wake-up call for a da’ee to realize that he or she is swerving away from the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم]. He had more roles to play on a communal and familial level than any of us, yet he knew how to strike the perfect balance in his life that enabled him to stay positive, cheerful, easygoing, focused (on both work and worship) and most of all, sporting a smiling countenance and a relaxed demeanor whenever anyone met him.

How did he do it? What did he do that kept him stress-free and relaxed?





Hang out with friends outdoors; play games:


Narrated Abu Musa Al-Ashari: “I performed ablution in my house and then went out and said, "Today I shall stick to Allah's Apostle and stay with him all this day of mine (in his service)."

I went to the Mosque and asked about the Prophet. They said, "He had gone in this direction." So I followed his way, asking about him till he entered a place called Bir Aris. I sat at its gate that was made of date-palm leaves until the Prophet finished answering the call of nature and performed ablution. Then I went up to him to see him sitting at the well of Aris at the middle of its edge with his legs uncovered, hanging in the well. I greeted him, and went back and sat at the gate.
I said, "Today I will be the gatekeeper of the Prophet."

Abu Bakr came and pushed the gate. I asked, "Who is it?" He said, "Abu Bakr." I told him to wait, went in and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Abu Bakr asks for permission to enter." He said, "Admit him and give him the glad tidings that he will be in Paradise." So I went out and said to Abu Bakr, "Come in, and Allah's Apostle gives you the glad tidings that you will be in Paradise" Abu Bakr entered and sat on the right side of Allah's Apostle on the built edge of the well and hung his legs n the well as the Prophet did and uncovered his legs.

I then returned and sat (at the gate). I had left my brother performing ablution and he intended to follow me. So I said (to myself). "If Allah wants good for so-and-so (i.e. my brother) He will bring him here." Suddenly somebody moved the door. I asked, "Who is it?" He said, "'Umar bin Al-Khattab." I asked him to wait, went to Allah's Apostle, greeted him and said, 'Umar bin Al-Khattab asks the permission to enter." He said, "Admit him, and give him the glad tidings that he will be in Paradise." I went to "Umar and said "Come in, and Allah's Apostle, gives you the glad tidings that you will be in Paradise." So he entered and sat beside Allah's Apostle on the built edge of the well on the left side and hung his legs in the well.

I returned and sat (at the gate) and said, (to myself), "If Allah wants good for so-and-so, He will bring him here." Somebody came and moved the door. I asked "Who is it?" He replied, "Uthman bin Affan." I asked him to wait, and went to the Prophet and informed him. He said, "Admit him, and give him the glad tidings of entering Paradise after a calamity that will befall him." So I went up to him and said to him, "Come in; Allah's Apostle gives you the glad tidings of entering Paradise after a calamity that will befall you."”

Uthman then came in and found that the built edge of the well was occupied, so he sat opposite to the Prophet on the other side.


Said bin Al-Musaiyab said, "I interpret this (narration) in terms of their graves."
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 57, Number 23]




The above narration is significant in many aspects, but the point for narrating it here, is to show how the Prophet [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] and his companions ‘hung out’ together in a casual way. None of them appears to be stressing about any urgent matter, or rushed for reaching somewhere. Notice the way they all stay in the state of ablution as a habit, and of the eagerness with which each companion sought the company of our beloved Prophet – and surprisingly – got it.

Why would the Prophet decide to sit on the wall of a well with this legs dangling inside? Didn’t he have important matters to attend to? Why would Abu Musa decide to dedicate a whole of his day to play the role of gatekeeper of the Prophet? Doesn’t this hadith make clear how all of them were adorably normal people, ones we can relate to now, centuries down the road?

As da’ee’s who should be eager to incorporate the sunnah into our lives, we must try to strike a balance so that we always have time in the week or the month to hang out like this with people whom we love for the sake of Allah.

Unfortunately, though, I sometimes come across colleagues at dinner parties or weddings, who use even these social gatherings as 'strictly business' or networking opportunities. Taking out their journals, planners or blackberries, they attempt to engage people they have met after a long time in future work opportunities. They do not realize that one of the signs of being a workaholic is not to be able to divorce yourself from your work even in places or situations that are intended to make you enjoy yourself and simply let go and have fun. Holding mini-work meetings at social get-togethers, and discussing nothing but work, work and work is not part of our Prophet’s sunnah.


Sport with little children (not just your own):



The Prophet would not rebuke or scold children. He’d joke and play with them, and allow them their little quirks. He would allow the children to come close to him, touch him, sit in his lap, and he'd talk to them in a manner they'd be endeared to.

Anas Bin Malik narrated that, "The Prophet was the best amongst people in conduct and manners. I had a brother called Abu Umair and he was weaned at that time. When the Prophet would see him, he used to say, 'Abu Umair! What has done the Nughair (an Arabian bird)?'" [Sahih Muslim]
Notice the mention of the nughair in a way that rhymes with the child's name!

Narrated Umm Khalid (the daughter of Khalid bin Said) “I went to Allah's Apostle with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah's Apostle said, "Sanah, Sanah!" ('Abdullah, the narrator, said that 'Sanah' meant 'good' in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of Prophethood (in between the Prophet's shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah's Apostle said. "Leave her," and then Allah's Apostle (invoked Allah to grant me a long life) by saying (thrice), "Wear this dress till it is worn out and then wear it till it is worn out, and then wear it till it is worn out." (The narrator adds, "It is said that she lived for a long period, wearing that (yellow) dress till its color became dark because of long wear.") [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 52, Number 305]

As for those of us who dash out of the room the instant an infant or toddler does something in its diaper, the narration below should act as a reminder to increase our the level of tolerance for little children’s needs:

Narrated Lubabah daughter of al-Harith, "Hussain ibn Ali was (sitting) in the lap of the Apostle of Allah. He passed water [urinated] on him. I said, “Put on (other) clothes, and give me your wrapper to wash”. He said, “The urine of a female child should be washed (thoroughly) and the urine of a male child should be sprinkled over*.”" [Abu Dawud, Book 1, Number 0375]

*[Note: this ruling applies only if the child is still being breastfed]
التوقيع

كروت أمنا هجرة تغمدها الله برحمته


التعديل الأخير تم بواسطة نسيم الفجر ; 08-21-2009 الساعة 07:16 PM
رد مع اقتباس
  #2  
قديم 08-21-2009, 08:23 PM
نسيم الفجر نسيم الفجر غير متواجد حالياً
قـــلم نــابض
 




افتراضي Chill Out Like The Prophet: Tips For The Stressed Muslim Da’ee – Part II



"Chill Out Like The Prophet:
Tips For The Stressed Muslim Da'ee"





we continue our analysis of more ways of how to relax and de-stress, the 'sunnah' way.





Nap during the day



A stressed out person will find it difficult to take a relaxing snooze during the day, but this was the sunnah of our Prophet [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] and his companions. Even if you have too much to do and just can not take out the time, force yourself to relax for half an hour by either curling up on the couch in your office or, if that will be too 'weird' for office staff to see, just lean back in your chair with your eyes closed. The Prophet was in the habit of napping regularly as part of his daily routine:

Narrated Thumama, Anas said, "Um Sulaim used to spread a leather sheet for the Prophet and he used to take a midday nap on that leather sheet at her home." Anas added, "When the Prophet had slept, she would take some of his sweat and hair and collect it (the sweat) in a bottle and then mix it with Suk (a kind of perfume) while he was still sleeping.”
[Sahih Muslim, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 298]


Narrated the uncle of 'Abbas bin Tamim, “I saw Allah's Apostle lying on his back in the mosque and putting one of his legs over the other.”
[Sahih Muslim, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 302]


Narrated Anas bin Malik, “Whenever Allah's Apostle went to Quba, he used to visit Um Haram bint Milhan who would offer him meals; and she was the wife of 'Ubada bin As-samit. One day he went to her house and she offered him a meal, and after that he slept, and then woke up smiling.” [Sahih Muslim, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 299]




In the last narration above, the Prophet was apparently just relaxing in the mosque, not taking his midday nap. Allahu a'lam.

Ironically, some organizations have noticed the effect of “power naps” on their employees’ productivity, and are facilitating 20-minute naps in “nap rooms” on office premises!

Relax with your head in your wife’s lap, or have her comb your hair:

Narrated 'Aisha: “While in menses, I used to comb the hair of Allah's Apostle.”
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 6, Number 294
]

Narrated 'Aisha: “The Prophet used to lean on my lap and recite Qur'an while I was in menses.”
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 6, Number 296]

When was the last time you did either of these things? (Tip: it would help to shampoo your hair and beard the day you intend to do this; if your has bid you farewell forever, well, the beard can be the next option?).


Narrated Aisha: “A necklace of mine was lost at Al-Baida' and we were on our way to Medina. The Prophet made his camel kneel down, dismounted and laid his head on my lap and slept. Abu Bakr came to me, and hit me violently on the chest, and said, "You have detained the people because of a necklace." I kept as motionless as a dead person, because of the position of Allah's Apostle (on my lap), although Abu Bakr had hurt me (with the slap). Then the Prophet woke up and it was the time for the morning (prayer). Water was sought, but in vain; so the following verse was revealed:--"O you who believe! When you intend to offer prayer..(5.6)”.”
Usaid bin Hudair said, "Allah has blessed the people for your sake, O the family of Abu Bakr. You are but a blessing for them."
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 132]


Even during a journey which got delayed because of our mother A’ishah losing her necklace [notice the desire to adorn herself even while traveling], when water could not be found for ablution for the whole caravan, the Prophet [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] was relaxed enough to lie down with his head in his wife’s lap. Notice how he did not rebuke his wife even slightly for unintentionally causing a delay in everyone's travel. His best friend, on the other hand, lost his temper at his daughter due to the stress of the circumstances; it all ended well, though, because this situation became the cause of Allah revealing the verses of tayammum that became a source of ease for Muslims, for all time to come.
As interesting contemporary evidence of the comfort of a woman's [...ahem, wife's] lap for relaxing on, take a look at this article[/URL].


Share meals with friends:

Having meals with his neighbors, kin, friends and companions was a norm for Allah’s Messenger [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم], so much so that usually he’d also take along, to a meal to which he was invited, the person who was with him when he received the invitation to it.

The cutest hadith (below) depicts him accepting an invitation to a neighbor’s meal only on the condition that his wife also accompany him to it, because she was present when the invitation was extended:

Anas Bin Malik reported that Allah's Messenger had a neighbor who was Persian (by descent), and he was expert in the preparation of soup. He prepared (soup) for Allah's Messenger and then came to him to invite him (to that feast). He (Allah's Messenger) said: “Here is 'A'ishah also” (i.e. you should also invite her to the food). He said: “No.” Thereupon Allah's Messenger also said: “No” (i.e. I cannot join the feast). He returned inviting him and Allah's Messenger said: “She is also there”. He said: “No”. Thereupon Allah's Messenger also said: “No” (and declined his offer). He returned again, to invite him and Allah's Messenger again said: “She is also there”. He (the host) said:"Yes" the third time. Then he accepted his invitation, and both of them set out until they came to his house.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 023, Number 5054]

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: “I said, "O Allah's Apostle! We have slaughtered a young sheep of ours and have ground one Sa’ of barley. So, I invite you along with some persons." So, the Prophet said in a loud voice, "O the people of the Trench! Jabir had prepared "Sur" so come along." [Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 304]

Abu Hurairah reported that Allah's Messenger went out (of his house) one day or one night, and there he found Abu Bakr and 'Umar also. He said: “What has brought you out of your houses at this hour?” They said: “Allah's Messenger, it is hunger.” Thereupon he said: “By Him in Whose Hand is my life, what has brought you out has brought me out too; get up”.

They got up along with him, and (all of them) came to the house of an Ansari, but he was not at home. When his wife saw him, she said, “Most welcome,” and Allah's Messenger said to her: “Where is so and so?” She said, “He has gone to get some fresh water for us”.

When the Ansari came and he saw Allah's Messenger and his two Companions, he said: “Praise be to Allah, no one has more honorable guests today than I (have)”. He then went out and brought them a bunch of ripe dates, dry dates and fresh dates, and said: “Eat some of them”. He then took hold of his long knife (for slaughtering a goat or a sheep). Allah's Messenger said to him: “Beware of killing a milch animal”.

He then slaughtered a sheep for them; and after they had eaten of it and of the bunch, and drank, and when they had taken their fill, and had been fully satisfied with the drink, Allah's Messenger said to Abu Bakr and Umar: “By Him in whose hand is my life, you will certainly be questioned about this bounty on the Day of judgment. Hunger brought you out of your house, then you did not return until this bounty came to you”.
[Sahih Muslim, Book 023, Number 5055]

Anas Bin Malik reported: “A tailor invited Allah's Messenger to a meal which he had prepared. I went along with Allah's Messenger to that feast. He presented to Allah's Messenger barley bread and soup containing pumpkin, and sliced pieces of meat. I saw Allah's Messenger going after the pumpkin round the dish, so I have always liked the pumpkin since that day.”
[Sahih Muslim Book 023, Number 5067]

The above ahadith make clear how asceticism is not part of Islam, confirmed by these aspects of the sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم]. He not only enjoyed good company, but also enjoyed eating wholesome food, while, of course, maintaining the limits of abstaining from extravagantce in eating. This extravagance becomes a fitnah in itself; however, occasionally treating one's self to favorite food and drink - be it cheesecake, brownies, steaks, kabab rolls, frappes or pina coladas - is definitely not prohibited in Islam. Alhamdulillah for that!

So, endeavor sometimes to invite some brothers/sisters over for a meal (make it a potluck if you wish, to distribute the *****ng work), or go to a restaurant or coffee house for an enjoyable tête-à-tête. Do this at least once a month to release stress. At times like these, ensure that obedience to Allah is maintained during the outing.

The burned out, stressed, workaholic Muslim da'ee is not the desired picture we want to paint for ourselves; such a person misses out on the beautiful sunnah's our Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] practised, which not only made him the best role model for all believers, but which brought a lovely balance in his life that beautifed his dealings with others. Taking time out from your stack -full of meetings, conventions, conferences, classes and things-to-do lists, in order to give the dues of others as well as those of your own body and soul, will enable you to perform even better at your duties, in a less amount of time and with less effort, insha'Allah.

So next time that 'irritating' neighborhood kid makes spit-bubbles at you, remove that scowl from your face and try being friendlier with him. Who knows, he just might be inspired by your sweet nature, over time, to join you on your trips to the weekly halaqah or Islamic Center.


التوقيع

كروت أمنا هجرة تغمدها الله برحمته


التعديل الأخير تم بواسطة نسيم الفجر ; 08-21-2009 الساعة 09:33 PM
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